“Our refusal to acknowledge grief and death has twisted us into a culture riddled with death. One of Jung’s more chilling observations was that whatever we put into the shadow doesn’t sit there passively waiting to be reclaimed and redeemed; it regresses and becomes more primitive.”[1]Weller, Francis. The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief. (Function). Kindle Edition.
I follow a prescribed daily regimen of vocalizing to strengthen my voice, which is increasingly affected by my Parkinson disease.[2]I used to deal only with hypophonia, which is a decrease in the volume of my speech. Now I am also dealing with dysarthria, which for me involves the slowing of my speech, some unexpected pauses and … Continue reading I also play the trumpet and my guitar and sing – anything to keep my vocal cords active and moving. This strategy seems to be helping. On days I vocalize, my voice is noticeably louder. This always makes me happy and relieved.
Not being able to express myself through speaking is unnerving! It does, however, have its benefits. No one would ever say that I talk too much!
I find it curious that the grief over losing my voice dissipates almost immediately after I simply acknowledge this loss. I say quietly to my grief: “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable. You can stay as long as you like.”
By the same token, whenever I take steps to avoid grief, I almost always end up making things worse – allowing the situation to be even more painful and distressing.
People always seem to have something to say, but it is also interesting to notice what people are not saying. Many of us are walking through life carrying unmetabolized grief.[3]Francis Weller writes about the importance of metabolizing grief, and this resonates with me. Sometimes grief hides in plain sight as anger, bitterness, and resentment. These are cover emotions, concealing the genuine grief and hurt stuck just under the surface.
By leaning into grief – saying yes and welcoming it into the daylight – I actually bring myself into closer alignment with the universe and my truest self. I witness both the beauty and loss within and around me with a full, open heart.
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” – Fred Rogers
References
| ↑1 | Weller, Francis. The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief. (Function). Kindle Edition. |
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| ↑2 | I used to deal only with hypophonia, which is a decrease in the volume of my speech. Now I am also dealing with dysarthria, which for me involves the slowing of my speech, some unexpected pauses and the slurring of some of my words. |
| ↑3 | Francis Weller writes about the importance of metabolizing grief, and this resonates with me. |