“You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting – over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”
― Mary Oliver
The other day I went to a cider mill with my friend, Anna, after a walk on the West Bloomfield trail. It was a beautiful fall day with a clear, blue sky, and fall colors. I’ve known Anna since my first year at Wayne State University Law School in 1988. We edited articles for the Wayne Law Review.[1]This is where I learned the joy of a good footnote. We eventually worked together at two law firms over the course of our careers. After all of these years, we still have plenty to talk about. This is the best part of friendship. No matter how well you think you know someone, there are always new things to learn.
After the cider mill, I drove home, turning into our neighborhood just behind a school bus. It ambled through our quiet streets, stopping here and there to let off a handful of young children. At each stop, every single child jumped from the bus and ran joyfully into the arms of their moms, dads and other caregivers. I paused, smiled and remembered what it was like with our girls at that age. Where did the time go? Time flies. Don’t miss it.
Jennifer and I both love taking walks with Freja through the park in our neighborhood. We walk slowly these days so that Freja can take it easy, explore every smell, and pursue every possible side track, which makes her happy. After 14 years, she deserves whatever she wants. On our walks, I absolutely love to hear the groups of children playing outside of their apartments next to the park. There is something about kids that is so freeing and joyful. It’s like they are saying: Life is happening now. Joy is here.
Today, I am living life to the full. I am deeply sad. I am also profoundly happy. It’s a paradox. Without lows there are no highs. Indeed, it is pointless to try and run away from the pain. What we resist persists. Negative emotions that we repress grow even more toxic in the shadows. They cause much more harm when they do finally manage to escape.
So I welcome the pain. Bring it! I can handle you – at least for today! I trust that joy is waiting just on the other side.
“The rain to the wind said,
You push and I’ll pelt.
They so smote the garden bed
That the flowers actually knelt,
And lay lodged – though not dead.
I know how the flowers felt.”
― Robert Frost
References
| ↑1 | This is where I learned the joy of a good footnote. |
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