“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all women, men and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically and spiritually wired to love, to be loved.” – Brene Brown.
On November 13, 2021, in a brief graveside service, we laid an urn containing my mom’s ashes in the ground right next to my dad’s casket in Pine Lake Cemetery. After being apart for twenty-five years, Ingrid and Loren were finally together again.
Friends and family then gathered with us at Faith Covenant Church, where my mom and dad had attended for many years. We celebrated her life. We sang two hymns written by the beloved Swedish hymn writer, Lina Sandell. Jennifer and I did our best to make it through the Swedish verse. Tears of gratitude and relief effortlessly welled up from within all of us.
If you have read other posts in this blog, you know that the relationship I had with my mom was sometimes complicated. Remembering her with those who knew her best, I felt a simple and profound measure of peace and genuine joy for the many gifts that my mom brought into the world. Through the powerful words of remembrance by my mom’s closest friends, I could see my mom for who she was at her essence: a nurse, spouse, mom, sister, friend and survivor with an amazing sense of humor and an undeniable love for other people.
Healing does not happen in isolation. Human beings are social creatures. Even the most introverted of us need to feel like we belong. Feeling connected is essential to feeling loved. We need each other to complete the circle, remember what truly matters, and be happy.
“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring, will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” —T.S. Eliot